Tips & tricks

Test anxiety in children: That's what parents should know

Test anxiety can be a real challenge for children. Here you can find out how you can help your child cope, build self-confidence and start exams more relaxed.

19.5.2025

Classwork, oral questions, vocabulary tests and presentations — the school year is packed full of performance tests for which your child must learn. Preparation is not only a challenge in terms of time, but also for mental health. If your child is studying like crazy and isn't rewarded with a good grade, you Avoidance behavior or even physical symptoms Observe, test anxiety could be behind it.

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How common is test anxiety among children and adolescents?

Some studies have already shown that many students suffer from pressure at school:

47% stated in a DAK study that they experience anxiety in exam situations. [1]
In a survey of 300 young people as part of a study by the Schleswig-Holstein Child Protection Association in 2021, they said 20%that they're afraid they won't keep up with school material. [2]
In a larger survey by Statista in 2016, there were a number of 56% start to be nervous before every test. [3]
In a recent study by the German School Barometer (2024), a fifth of studentsthat they are psychologically burdened, even almost every third person. [4]

Such abnormalities must also be seen in a larger context, which we consider entire society concerns. The incidence of mental health problems may be influenced by national and global developments. But that too increased awareness The issue of mental health and improved options for early detection are leading to an increase.

Illustration eines Lernroboters, der sich fragt: Ist es Püfungsangst oder Nervosität? — Sometimes difficult to recognize: Is it a harmless nervousness or a full-blown test anxiety?

Is it test anxiety — or simply nervousness? How to recognize it in your child

Does the excitement before class work increase to such an extent that your child unusual behaviors or physical symptoms shows that it is time to act. But it is also entirely possible that the signs of test anxiety are more hidden.

Avoidance and procrastination

As adults, we are probably also very familiar with these situations: Unpleasant activities are postponed when you just can't muster the strength to do so. However, this behavior can go so far as to avoid serious consequences leads, which in turn put pressure on. This can create a vicious circle: Your child may not want to study anymore due to test anxiety or just start just before the exam, resulting in a poor grade. This negative experience leads to feelings of helplessness and uncertainty, which can further increase your child's test anxiety.

Katatstrophe thinking

“If I don't pass the exam, everything is lost! ”
“Everyone will see that I'm really stupid! ”
“My parents will be completely freaked out when I bring home a five again! ”

Thoughts that revolve around the perceived impending catastrophe sound like this or something like that. In the head, the consequences of a bad grade are exaggerated and dramatically embellished. This negative thought spirals result in the child's perception of the examination situation as much more threatening than it actually is. They block clear thinking and prevent it from remaining calm and doing the best on the exam.

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Perfectionism and continuous learning

Do you think your child is simply busy because they are constantly learning? Behind it could also be more unhealthy perfectionism Stuck due to exam anxiety. Children who have such tendencies have unrealistically high expectations in themselves and believe that they need to know everything. They put themselves under tremendous pressure and feel inadequate, even when they are already doing well. The compulsion to learn can then lead not only to an increased fear of failure, but also to fatigue, excessive demands and a negative attitude towards school.

Physical symptoms

Stress makes you sick — we know this sentence well enough. The permanent release of the stress hormone cortisol has been proven to be serious Effects on our health have. The symptoms are varied, here is a selection:

Headaches or migraines
stomach problems (nausea, abdominal pain, irritable bowel syndrome)
sleep disorders (problems falling asleep or restless sleep)
muscle tension and back pain
shivering or sweating
Heart palpitations and rapid pulse
Weakened immune system (frequent colds, infections)

These abnormalities are particularly acute before the test. If anxiety persists permanently, this chronic stress leads to long-term symptoms, even outside of examination phases. Close observation of your child and conversations will help you notice these warning signs and any test anxiety that may be present.

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In summary: the most important warning signs of test anxiety

Perfectionism: Your child is constantly learning
Physical symptoms: Headaches, nausea, muscle tension, tinnitus, dizziness, tremors, palpitations
Avoidance behavior: Your child wants to stay at home or skip class work
Sleep problems: Difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep, nightmares
Emotional imbalance: emotional changes, irritability, frustration, aggression, anger
brooding and negative self-talk: “I'll never be able to do it,” “I'm so stupid”
Power loss: The grades are noticeably worsening
Social retreat: Your child no longer contacts friends and withdraws from family life

How does test anxiety arise? These may be the causes

The causes of test anxiety are very diverse. It is not only individual and biographical factors that play a role, but also social developments. These have a major impact on the mental health of children and humans in general. Anxiety is a complex field and the cause may not always (only) be the test.

The pressure to perform

Hardly anyone can escape the pressure to perform in our society. We learn from an early age that performance is important and helps us move forward in life. At school, this is reflected in the evaluation through certificates — children understand that good grades with Recognition and praise (and maybe even extra pocket money) will be rewarded. Adults only mean well because they want to give the child a good future through education. Unfortunately, the following often happens: The child's self-esteem is linked to grades.

In order to receive recognition from the big players, the pressure on the child to “perform” well in exams increases and, as a result, the fear of failure also increases.

The personality of the child

Personality plays an important role in the development of test anxiety. Especially introverted children are more likely to develop anxiety as they react more sensitively to external stimuli and social evaluations. They often have a more intense inner experience and reflect negative thoughts more strongly. This can make them worry more before exams and imagine possible negative consequences. Among others, a study by Joel Nigg (2006) revealed the connection between introverted personalities and the likelihood of anxiety disorders. [5]

Negative experiences

If children have experienced failures in the past or have already had to go through unpleasant exam situations, this can result in a generalized test anxiety Lead: The examination situation then automatically awakens unpleasant memories and at the same time the expectation that they could happen again.

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role models

Another aspect is the behavior of parents and caregivers: Children often adopt behaviors and attitudes that they observe. When parents themselves react anxiously or over-concerned to stressful situations, this tells the child that Stress and anxiety an appropriate response is. It is therefore definitely a good time to question yourself when it comes to test anxiety: How do I react to stress? What attitude does my behavior convey to my child? There is also a big lever here: Reacting with confidence and calmness shows the child constructive ways to deal with pressure. [6]

Illustration eines Kindes, das in Karteikarten schwimmt — There is plenty for children to do at school

Test anxiety in children: What helps? Our 9 tips

Did you recognize your child in the descriptions? That's when it's time to take action — as early as possible. As a parent, you may feel overwhelmed and concerned, and that's completely understandable. The good news is: There are many ways to improve the situation for your child and to alleviate test anxiety.

1. Talk to your child

A empathetic conversation With the child is the first step. This conversation should not be about performance or grades, but only about: “How are you doing right now? ”. It is particularly valuable to give space to talk about feelings without evaluating or refuting them. Here are a few ideas on how you can respond to your child in a validating way:

“I understand that you're worried and I'm proud of you for addressing your fears. That is the first step. ”
“It's understandable that you're nervous. Exams can be really stressful. ”
“It sounds like you're really putting a lot of pressure on yourself. We can work together to find a solution to make you feel better. ”
“You don't have to be perfect. It is completely okay to make mistakes. You learn from everything you do. ”
“I'm sure you'll handle the situation well. And even if it doesn't go perfectly, I'm proud of you. ”

2. Get in touch with the school

If you have suitable or familiar contacts at school, it makes sense to talk to them. Teachers and school social workers often have a lot of experience dealing with exam anxiety and the requirements. This could also involve discussing solutions for a better audit environment and relief measures such as extended processing times or quieter rooms. The school can be helpful in identifying learning difficulties or other underlying issues.

Going to a school psychologist also helps with targeted advice and the development of coping strategies.

3. Seek support from child and adolescent therapists

If test anxiety is so severe that it severely interferes with the child's everyday life, it makes sense to Child and adolescent therapists to bring in. There are many proven methods that can be used to effectively treat anxiety, such as cognitive behavioral therapy or relaxation techniques. The paediatrician or family doctor can issue a referral and thus pave the way for professional support. Therapy is a valuable option, especially if your child also has difficulties in other areas, such as in social situations or dealing with other fears.

4. Also clarify physical symptoms

If your child also has physical symptoms such as stomach pain, headaches, or sleeping problems, a Clarification by a paediatrician take place. This allows you to rule out physical causes and other health problems. I'm sure the doctor can also give you further tips on which contact points and advice services there are — just ask!

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5. Teach relaxation techniques

Your child's nervous system is on alert before the exam, which not only affects performance but is also very exhausting. Relaxation techniques that you can learn help here. This has two equal advantages:

Your child recognizes their self-efficacy: It learns that it can actively do something to feel better — which increases self-confidence.
The nervous system is brought back to a state of rest: Through regular relaxation exercises or other stress management strategies, your child learns to regulate their emotions, which leads to greater resilience and better mental health.

What is good for your child is also helpful for us “adults”. From this, you can nice joint rituals arise, such as a short breathing exercise or meditation. This not only shows your child how to calm themselves down, but also creates a familiar atmosphere.

6. Encourage constructive thinking

Children who have test anxiety tend to think disastrously. You can also relearn these thought patterns through training.

Encourage new thinking: Instead of saying “You can do it,” it helps to look at the situation realistically: “Yes, that's a lot of material and math can be really difficult. Let's look at what's most important now.” This involves the child in solving the problem instead of feeling helpless. The child's concerns are recognized, which validates their emotional world.

Unmask disasters: By asking questions like “What happens if you get a bad grade? “The focus is shifted from fear to the solution. Here you can show your child that they will always be picked up no matter what happens. And that the alleged disasters are in reality simply challenges for which there are always solutions.

The antidote to negative thinking: Positive affirmations strengthen self-confidence: “You've already overcome many challenges. You can handle them too.” Such statements encourage the child to believe in themselves and to recognize their abilities, even if the situation seems difficult. Repeating such positive sentences leads to a healthy self-image of your child in the long term, which also reduces test anxiety.

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7. Separate performance from effort

It's okay to expect your child to be involved, but not to always get perfect results. The key lies in the clear distinction between effort and performance. This is because the effort is within the child's sphere of influence, which in turn strengthens the recognition of self-effectiveness. For example, it can study 30 minutes for the math test over three days. Performance, on the other hand, depends on many factors, such as luck, talent and external circumstances, and can only be influenced but not directly controlled.

If the child gets a bad grade despite all efforts, it is important that you give him comfort and encouragement Give — penalties are completely out of place in this case and would only lead to an aggravation of test anxiety.

8. Try out new learning methods and practice the exam situation

Check whether your child's previous learning methods might not be effective. Some kids learn better with cards to repeat, others prefer summaries, learning apps, or learning videos. A learning coach or learning therapist can help you with this.

At the same time, it is important that Practice the exam situation yourself. To do this, you can do a trial exam together with the child, under realistic conditions such as with a fixed time and the appropriate materials. This allows your child to practice working under pressure in a safe environment. Meanwhile, the techniques for calming down can also be trained should test anxiety occur.

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9. Celebrate success

In order to get out of the blocking test anxiety, learning should be combined with something positive again. Recognize with praise when your child has studied or completed a relaxation exercise. This positive reinforcement of constructive behavior so that your child understands: Learning not only means test anxiety, torment and anger, but also experiences of success, joy and new knowledge.

Illustration: Tipps für den Blackout — The exam is imminent? This is how your child avoids a blackout

First aid during the exam: Our 5 tips against blackout

These strategies help build healthy behavior to reduce test anxiety. But what to do if, despite good preparation, there is a dreaded blackout on the exam?

1. No comparisons

Your child should not compare themselves with others before the exam, but rather seek some space in order to prepare for the exam with peace of mind.

2. Better to take a break before the exam

The day of the exam has arrived and your child is still learning on the bus? This should be avoided as it could only increase nervousness and unsettle. The rule should be: There is no more study on the day of the exam.

3. Note down keywords

When reading through the exam questions, your child may already notice how nervousness increases. It can help if he takes short notes on the tasks on a separate sheet of paper in order to record his initial thoughts. These bullet points help you feel safer and have structure while working through it.

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4. Task by task

Now it's getting serious: The exam is in front of your child and the processing starts. You shouldn't jump back and forth between tasks. It's better to give yourself time to commit to a task. Only when one task is really stuck should your child move on to the next.

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5. Take breaks

If the panic gets out of hand, it's time for a short break. Make it clear to your child that a short respite helps them to move on better afterwards, even if there is time pressure. Simply sit back and do a small breathing exercise — this helps you to get back to yourself and alleviate test anxiety.

Grow together and learn better

Yes, test anxiety is a real challenge — but as we've shown, there are many solutions and resources. With suitable strategies, you not only help your child with Coping with exam anxiety, but also show him how self-effective It may be. A valuable insight that we adults can remember at any time, isn't it? Encourage your child to separate effort from achievement and celebrate progress. With patience, understanding, and the right tools, your child will learn to experience exams as less frightening and to look to the future more confidently.